The Difference Between Arrogance and Confidence

Photo by Creative Commons user glsims99

Arrogance says, "I'm better than you." Confidence says, "There's room for both of our strengths. You have yours, and I have mine."

Arrogance pushes others out of the way. Confidence pulls others along with it.

Arrogance brags, possibly about things it has no right to brag about. Confidence tells the truth, optimistically.

Arrogance says "I will," when it knows it probably won't. Confidence says, "I can," then it finds a way.

Arrogance (also called by it's other name, "Pride") is the cause of most failed dreams, organizations and teams. Confidence is the catapult that propels a dreamer over a wall of impossibility.

A leader should never be arrogant. A leader should be confident in his vision, but willing to listen to his team members, and open to the possibility that he can be wrong.

Arrogance and love can never co-exist. Confidence and love are soulmates.

Be confident in everything you do today. Be arrogant in nothing.

Want more information on how you can make the best use of "community?" Pick up your FREE copy of Bryan Allain's "Community Wins," HERE, then leave a nice Amazon review to show your appreciation! Do it today! 

Speaking of community, have you "Liked" the Isle of Man dot Net Facebook page yet? Are we following each other on Twitter? I want this to be a two-way street, because I'm genuinely interested in the people who read this blog. Take the step. Reach out. Let's get to know each other better. No more lurking!

What are some other ways Confidence is different than Arrogance?

Friday Night Lights plus Community Wins

Recently, Kim and I made the decision/commitment to start watching the TV series, Friday Night Lights, via Netflix.

When we first started watching, it was on a whim, just to see what it was all about. We'd heard the critical acclaim and wondered if it would be worth a watch.

Before we knew it, we'd pretty much watched all of season one and were ready to get knee deep in the next season.

It's about three weeks now, and we've finished it. All of it. All five seasons.

It's somewhat bittersweet. Mainly, because there's no more to watch. No more Taylor family. No updates. No new drama. 

The short review is that we both really enjoyed it. It isn't often that Kim and I find a show that we can both get into, equally. 

If it's a show I like, she usually finds it to be too profane, goofy or sees it as being a "guy show."

If it's a show that she is into, I usually think it's too girly, unrealistic and/or corny.

So, it was really nice to find to find a series that fed both of our TV watching desires.

Here's the "extended" review:

Isle of Man Book Review: 'Community Wins' by Bryan Allain

I've been blogging for almost a year now. But, I almost never got to this point.

Let me rewind back to December of 2011. 

I had just started blogging. I had no real idea what it was or how to do it effectively. I knew my friend Rob and my brother Stephen were doing it, and I enjoyed what they did. I knew I liked writing, and it was a goal of mine to eventually write a book or two.

So, I dove in, headfirst. And I sucked. I didn't know what to write about. I was unfocused. Every now and then, I felt like I hit the bull's eye, but it was few and far between, at best.

I came "this close" to shutting it down for good. I stopped writing for about a month. 

And then it happened.

Through other friends in the blogging community, I found out about Bryan Allain. Specifically, I found out about his book, 31 Days to Finding Your Blogging Mojo. It changed everything. Seriously. If you're a blogger and you've never read it, you need to do yourself a favor and pick it up -- yesterday.

I'm here, today, to tell you that Bryan is back with his second offering, and it's fantastic. The book (which comes in Kindle format), is called Community Wins: 21 Thoughts on Building a Thriving Online Tribe. You can buy it HERE for only $4.99. 

Here's some news that's even greater!

Tomorrow (Tue., Oct. 30, 2012), when Community Wins launches, Bryan's book will be completely FREE, all the way up until Saturday (Nov. 3, 2012).

Community Wins is really a workbook, offering readers valuable "Action Steps" that will give you an opportunity to put his advice into practice.

The book is a total of 60 pages, so it's not a heavy read, but Bryan packs a lot into a little bit of room. 

Another great thing about Community Wins is that it's not just for bloggers. Getting plugged into a community is for everyone. If you're a musician, a public speaker, an actor, a teacher, so on and so forth -- you can only be a better (insert the blank) if you thrive inside a garden of likeminded individuals. 

Bryan's book comes out tomorrow. Because Bryan is a friend of mine, and because I have the utmost respect for the work he does, I'd take it as a personal favor to me if you would grab a copy of his book. If you love it (and I have no doubt that you will), please go the extra mile and leave him a favorable review on Amazon. It really does make a difference, and it gives authors the satisfaction of knowing they've touched lives.

So, to recap, here are the three things I need you to do this week:

1) Go to Amazon, as soon as you leave here, and buy Community Wins.

2) After you read Community Wins, leave a favorable review on Amazon.

3) Sharing is caring. Tweet the following (multiple times, if you feel led):

".@BryanAllain is at it again with #CommunityWins. Check out @kevinrhaggerty's review at TheIsleofMandotNet -- http://tinyurl.com/9evboc8"

So, get to it!

Friday Funhouse: October 26, 2012

Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose

"Anger, fear, aggression...the dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny."

If you're awesome, you recognize that as being a quote from one of the wisest movie characters of all time, none other than Yoda himself.

Whether you dig Star Wars or not, you have to admit -- he had a point.

Anger, fear and aggression will do nothing good for you, specifically when they are working together. And I think it's interesting that they would be grouped together in this particular quote.

Very seldom does anger motivate us to do good. Jesus was motivated by righteous anger on several occasions, and in His anger, He did not sin.

I know I can't say the same of myself.

Michael Jordan was one of few basketball players who seemed to play better angry. When a player (or a New York Knicks mega-fan and filmmaker) started to talk trash, "His Airness" turned his game up a notch and went into "Killer Mode."

It was never a good idea to make Michael angry. But that isn't the case for most basketball players or athletes, in general. Most athletes do their utmost to keep a clear head, devoid of emotion.

Anger only clouds your judgement. 

It's a sentiment that is true both on and off the court. When anger, fear and aggression are driving us, we almost never end up where we were supposed to be.

I battle with anger. I struggle with hidden fear. I let my aggression have the steering wheel of my life WAY too often.

I bet you do too, if you're honest enough to admit it.

But you can't let yourself go there. Life can be really unfair. People can be horrible. Friends will betray you. Your family might even forget your birthday.

Don't let the bitterness overtake you. I'm preaching to myself, but I know some of you need this too. When you feel it coming into your heart, reject it.

Because it becomes a habit. The darkness starts to spread, and before you know it, nobody wants to hang out with you anymore.

Don't go to "the dark side" today. Someone will cut you off in traffic. Someone will say something that ticks you off. You will have a break go against you, and it will frustrate you.

But, today, you're going to be bigger than that.

Brush your shoulders off ... Jedi. 

Can We Take a Minute to Geek out about Iron Man 3?

The next offering from the Marvel universe, Iron Man 3, will be released in the United States on May 3, 2013 (those lucky Brits get it a few days earlier).

I'm a geek. Pretty much always have been. I've been into super hero swag since I was a little kid. I never grew out of that.

I'm incredibly amped on this movie. It's set to feature renowned actor Ben Kingsley as "The Mandarin," the main villain in this film. Guy Pearce also appears as "Aldrich Killian." 

Iron Man 3 is said to be following the comic book "Extremis" story line. There are a lot of cool possibilities, and I'm interested in seeing how they pull it all off.

We have months to froth at the mouth in anticipation, which is exactly what you should be doing when you watch this, the official trailer for Iron Man 3: 

I may or may not have watched that several times in a row when I first found it, early on Tuesday.

So what do you think, guys? Are you as excited about Iron Man 3 as I am? If not, what movie are you currently looking forward to the most?

If I Ever Teach a Class on Parenting

Photo by Creative Commons user acbo

The other day, I saw a couple from church at the grocery store. They asked me how things were going with Aidan. My response was simply, "Better, but I don't think I'll be teaching a class on parenting any time soon."

We're first time parents. It wasn't necessary to affirm we won't be telling anyone else how to be parents in the near future.

But what if we did?

Here are some of the things I'd tell my class:

Babies are born with a sixth sense. It's called "awful timing"

If you're trying to eat your dinner, talk on the phone, get work done or any other important task, you can pretty much bet on the fact that your baby is going to pitch a holy fit...soon.

You see, babies hate for you to forget that they are the center of the universe. So don't do it. Ever.

You'll eat, drink and go to the bathroom on their schedule.

And you'll like it.

At some point, you're gonna get pooped on

And peed on, and spit up on, and DEFINITELY farted on...a lot. 

They can't really help it, and I'm not gonna lie, it's kind of hilarious. Yeah, it sucks getting diarrhea on your shirt and barf on your shoulder, but God gifts us by giving our babies faces that are impossible to get mad at.

And there just is something entirely comical about the face a baby makes when he is having a bowel movement. Maybe I'm just immature, but every time my little guy looks shocked that his body is "making playdough," I crack up.

You will start to appreciate silence in a way you never thought possible 

There have been multiple times since we've had Aidan that I've found myself just sitting and doing nothing, and absolutely loving it.

I love my son, and when I'm not around him for a while, I miss him a lot and want to see him again. But when I get time to myself, it's like solid gold.

Enjoying time away from your baby doesn't make you a bad parent, even if it makes you feel that way while you're enjoying it. Or trying to enjoy it.

What would you add if you were teaching a class on parenting?

Why My Vote for a Third Party Candidate Is Not a Vote for Obama (and why you need to stop saying it is)

I don't usually talk politics. I used to. Man, did I ever used to. 

After "9-11," I listened to talk radio, non-stop. I would have political discourse with whomever would care to engage me. Wind me up and listen to the talking points. That was me ten years ago.

Fast forward to later in life, and now I barely care. 

First off, I'm almost entirely disillusioned with the politicians themselves. The original ideal was for them to represent the people who elected them, but that train went off the tracks long, long ago.

Second, I've just found that political debate rarely sparks any type of positive change or epiphanies. If anything, it ruins friendships and makes dinner awkward.

My cynicism grew so large that in 2008, I didn't even vote. That's right. I didn't show up. At all. I stayed home.

(Note: I apologize if this offends any of our men or women in the military who put themselves in harm's way to provide us the freedom and opportunity to vote. I don't take your sacrifice lightly, and I wholeheartedly appreciate and respect what you do for the rest of us.)

I just didn't care. Barack Obama or John McCain? You've got to be kidding me.

So I opted out altogether.

It's only been in recent years that I've started to look into the Libertarian party, as well as other parties and candidates who are not backed by the Republicans or Democrats.

In the past, I would never have dreamed of voting for a candidate outside the fringe. If you don't vote for one of the two main turds, you're throwing your vote away, right?

I don't believe that anymore. Here's why:

First off, I wasn't going to vote in 2008. If I'd voted for a third party candidate, tell me how that takes votes away from anyone?

It's 2012, and I'm not interested in voting for Obama or Romney. I'm not real interested in debating that, just so you know. If you're drinking the kool aid for either of them, rock on. I won't try to stop you.

What I'm trying to say is this: I am not going to vote for either of those guys. So, I'll either vote for someone who stands for what I believe in, or I'll stay home. If I vote for a third party candidate, that's not a vote for Obama. It's not a vote against Romney. It's a vote for who I vote for. It's really that simple.

Additionally, if we never go outside the norm, nothing will ever change, and we'll forever be saddled with voting for the lesser of the two evils. I'm done doing that. 

It may take a very long time to bring about serious change, but righteous causes aren't generally accomplished overnight.

Finally, I just want to say that it's not your business who I vote for. To the people who are going around on Facebook or in "real life," telling others that a vote for a third party candidate is the same thing as a vote for Obama: You need to shut up and mind your business. You telling undecided voters that doesn't make us want to vote for Romney. 

It makes us want to punch you in the face with a cinder block.

All of these shenanigans will be over in a few weeks. No more trashy campaign ads or debates. I, for one, cannot wait.

In the meantime, be cool. Vote for who you want. I'll do the same. 

What's your least favorite thing about election years?

Friday Funhouse: Oct. 19, 2012

What a Wedding, a Funeral and a Sick Baby Taught Me about Life

Photo by Creative Commons user Dawnie's cakes

The past couple of weeks has been a veritable "circle of life" for me.

Two Saturdays ago, my little sister got married. It was awesome. I was proud of her. I'm happy for her and her new hubby. It was really a great and happy occasion.

Last week, Kim and I sang at the funeral of a 49-year old man who we used to go to church with. It was sobering. It was too soon. It was totally surreal.

This past weekend, Aidan came down with a serious fever. He had a temperature of over 103 degrees. We were terrified. We were panicked. We were relieved when things started to turn around for him in a positive way.

The Point of It All

The reason I mention all three of these events isn't just to give you a rundown of my past two weeks. It's because they're all significant, and they all acted together in accomplishing one uniform task.

They put things in perspective for me.

We're not here for long. Love your spouse. Hug and kiss them when you don't feel like it. Tell your kids you love them. Be nice.

Don't Let the Sun Go Down

This is all but a vapor in the light of eternity. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

Apologize to the guy who you called an idiot because he said he was voting for Obama. Make peace with the person in your class who has been talking about you behind your back. Forgive that family member who hurt you.

We're not here for long.

Who do you need to make peace with today?

When the Words Won't Come: Overcoming Writer's Block

Photo by Creative Commons user jcolman

Overcoming Writer's Block is something all Bloggers deal with. Whether it's a lack of time, creativity or overall self-belief, there are days when it feels like your faucet of words has just run dry.

No matter how hard you twist the tap, you get a big, fat sink-full of nothing.

For me, my recent case of writer's block has been due to all of the above factors. The combination of having a new baby, struggling to get a new business off the ground, and other various stress points have caused this blog to grow a little stagnant as of late.

It's hard to find time. It's hard to find motivation. It's hard to care.

The funny thing is, I know how to get past writer's block. You probably do too. We just don't want to face it, because we all know that it's like any other bad habit that has to be broken -- it requires hard work if we want to fix it.

I'm preaching to myself, but here are the steps:

Friday Funhouse: Oct. 12, 2012