Getting Back on the Horse -- Plus an Update

Doing anything consistently is hard. Blogging isn't any different.

It requires a discipline -- an attention to detail. And it very easily gets shoved violently to the bottom of the "to do list."

When life gets busy, it's difficult to justify taking a few minutes to write. It feels irresponsible, sometimes, almost like I'm chasing a fantasy fairytale when I should be taking out the trash or some other chore on the list.

Then, when I finally do get myself to a mental place where I'm ready to write, my head spins with all these menial boxes to check that don't really matter all that much.

Is this a post that will stir up a response and get a decent amount of comments?

Will this post have a headline that garners successful SEO stats?

Am I writing from a pure place, or am I writing just to write?

And what I find is, if I have those conversations and let those questions be serious boundaries around the foundation of my writing...

...I don't write.

Ever.

This past week has been that way. I have weeks where I write four or five posts in a row. I feel passionate about them. I get a great response. People share them on Facebook and Twitter. I feel like I'm really writing like a pro.

But then I get hit with a setback. I feel like I can't live up to the week before. I feel tapped out creatively. I've got nothing.

At the end of the day, I believe it's okay to "write just to write." Writing is an exercise, and if you only exercise that creative part of your brain when you have a beautiful, mind-rending epiphany, you just won't write regularly enough to be worth a crap as a writer.

So, I'm trying to be better about that, and I'm sharing my frustrations with you guys, so that we can hold each other accountable.

I also wanted to update you on what's been going on in my life.

God has been good to us. Really, really good. I currently have more graphic work than I can even keep up with. It's a good problem to have, but it presents a set of problems I've never had to deal with before. I'm adjusting, and I'm just grateful that the tides are beginning to turn.

In addition to my freelance work through KR Graphix, I also was recently hired by my church to serve as "Head of Communications," which essentially just means I'm their lead graphic designer. It's great, and it provides a little more money to help towards the monthly totals.

So, life is good. It's just really hectic right now. I'm going to really try to keep writing regularly, and I'm sorry that I neglected the blog this week.

As always, I don't want this to be a one-way street. Whether you're a writer or not, please share in the comment section below how things are going for you right now. What's new? Can we pray for you specifically in any particular way?

Bring it.

Friday Funhouse: Jan. 25, 2012

Before You Thrive, You Have to Survive

When I was in High School, my friends and I used to play a game called "Flicks."

It was dumb. Really, really dumb.

The object of the game was to hold your hands together, fingers outstretched, and allow your opponent to flick you anywhere on either one of your hands, and vice versa. They flicked you. You flicked them.

So on and so forth -- until someone gave up.

I was the best.

It wasn't because I flicked the hardest. According to the other guys, I didn't even flick that hard (though, by the end of the year, that changed too). No, it was a lot less about the damage I inflicted, and more about my defense.

The game was psychological to a large extent. Whenever I played, I made it a goal of mine to never let my opponent know he had hurt me, even remotely. The truth of the matter is that it usually hurt a lot, but I resolved to hide that fact from my face. I did not flinch. I did not wince. I did not allow my hands or fingers to shake or tremble. They would give me everything they had, and I would just smile at them.

It was deflating. None of the other guys could believe I as willing to go as long as I did. They'd say things like, "Come on, man! You know that hurt!" and "Dude, just quit already!"

But I didn't. I never quit.

Eventually it got to the point where no one would play with me anymore. It wasn't fun for them. I never lost, and everyone was afraid to look silly playing against me.

Why do I bring that up?

As stupid as it may sound, that game (and games like it) taught me something. I learned to accept the pain as a reality, push through, and then give back more than I'd received. It's Jedi Mind Trick that got me through jobs I hated, situations that scared me, and conversations I would have preferred to have avoided.

It's an ability I've relied heavily upon within the past year.

I bought my first house. I moved almost an hour away from the area where I'd spent the previous 18 years of my life (and where my family still lives). I lost my job. Kim got pregnant. She lost her job (or, rather, we decided for her to give it up). I started my own business. It started off great, but then it hit a huge drought that had me awake on many sleepless nights wondering what we were going to do.

And now? We're on several different kinds of government assistance. We're behind on some of our bills. Chiefly, we're behind on our mortgage, and there's a possibility we'll lose our house (though I believe strongly that the Lord is not going to allow that to happen).

I pursued a dream. I jumped out of the airplane without even knowing if the parachute would work. I held out my hands and LIFE flicked me in the knuckles a hard as it could.

And I'm still standing.

I'm not telling you all of this so you'll feel sorry for me. I'm not telling you this so you'll think I'm awesome or noble.

You might think I'm brave or exceptionally strong, but I promise you, I'm not any braver or stronger than YOU are capable of being.

That's the point.

Following a dream is hard. Some days, it straight up SUCKS! But it can be done. I'm living proof that it can be done, and that you can accomplish more than you think you can.

My graphic design business is coming around. Slowly but surely. I also have picked up a part-time graphics gig with my church.

We're getting there. But we never would have if we'd flinched. If we had quit, we'd never know what it felt like to get to the finish line.

In some ways, I'm not sure we ever will get there. I think it's going to be a lifelong journey that is difficult. Difficult -- but worth it.

So don't quit. Don't give up. If you were called to something, chase after it with everything you have. It's why you were put here, and someone is watching you who needs to be inspired.


What dream are you chasing? 

Sometimes, You Just Need to Shut Up

For months, I had little to no work as a freelance graphic artist. There were days when I thought it would never turn around, and I'd need to pick up a pizza delivery job, just to be able to make ends meet.

Things are still pretty tight, but within the past few weeks, business has picked up tremendously. It's been really good.

Then, this weekend, I had an issue with a client. I won't go into details, but it had to do with a check written and the way the client wanted to handle straightening things out.

I was really flustered by the whole thing, and I took to Facebook to vent and get feedback from friends (particularly my fellow freelancers), regarding how they thought I should respond.

The response was loud and clear.

Though they were all very kind and diplomatic with their words of wisdom, the prevailing commentary was essentially a reminder that I should be grateful for having work at all, and that I needed to extend extra grace to the client.

They weren't wrong, and it wasn't rocket science. I guess I just needed to hear it.

It's just remarkable to me that I even did need to hear it, you know? Why can't I be grateful for what I have? Why can't I just grin and bear it and extend grace when people do things that don't merit such a response?

I'm a slow learner, but I'm thankful that God does extend that extra grace to me.

Sometimes, you need to ask for wisdom. Sometimes, you need to surround yourself by friends who care enough to speak truth into your life. Sometimes, you need to slow down and not act hastily.

Sometimes, you just need to shut up.

Friday Funhouse: Jan. 18, 2012

Satan Never Takes a Vacation

Everything was going great.

Honestly, everything still is. Within the past few weeks, I picked up several web design clients. I picked up a part time job working with people I love and doing things I enjoy. I have a wife, a baby and a house I love. I don't skip meals (as evidenced by the growing tightness of all of my clothes).

But today has sucked.

It shouldn't have. I should be happy. My wife and son are off on a play date, so I should be being productive and kicking life's behind.

But I'm not.

I had to take the trash out in the rain. The weather sucks. It's been raining for three days and I'm over it. I'm tired, because the previous three days have just bulldozed me, and I've had little to no breaks since Saturday.

I also now have a couple of clients who are doing what they do best and are being finicky about "sealing the deal" to use me as their web designer. I should deal with it better, but when potential clients do this kind of stuff, I want to call them and tell them I have an overdue mortgage and a baby boy to feed. People are selfish and think the world revolves around them. I'm sure of it.

(Sidenote: No, the fact that this little rant is fairly self-involved is not lost on me.)

I have a "to do list" that I don't think will get done. I'm overwhelmed.

The Christmas decorations need to be put away. The towel rack in the bathroom STILL needs to be fixed. I have paperwork to fill out. Phone calls to make. Bills to pay.

I feel like I'm tied to 15 different horses, and it's just a matter of time before something spooks them and I'm ripped into pieces.

So, I've been less productive today than I should have been. That's not to say I've done nothing. I've done a lot. But not enough.

And I don't want to do anything.

I want to turn off all the lights, silence my phone, lay down on the couch under a blanket and watch movies all day.

Satan doesn't take vacations.

He seeks to devour and destroy us. He knows I was happy. He senses the awesome way God has been and is still moving in our lives. If he can get me to be depressed and despondent, he wins.

And I lose.

So, I'm not going to let that happen. But I am going to sit here for a few minutes longer before I really kick it into gear.

I might even watch a movie.


Author's note: Posts like these can come off as pandering. Specifically, pandering for encouragement. Totally not the case. Me writing this post was my "pick me up." I only hope that posts like these radiate with you in a way that shows you you're not alone. WE'RE not alone. We all feel this way. We all have to get up. 

The Isle of Misfit Christian Bloggers

I've been blogging for a little over a year now. Yesterday, as I was getting caught up on some blogs I usually read, and checking out some other ones that I don't usually peruse, something dawned on me.

I don't fit in.

Here's what I mean.

I'm a Christian. I'm also a blogger. The norm seems to be for those two entities to combine like Voltron, making me not just a Christian who blogs...but a "Christian Blogger."

What does that mean?

Well, I believe that definition has evolved, but as of this morning that I'm writing, it tends to mean you belong to one of two diametrically opposing camps:

1) You write devotionals every single day. Your blog is dogmatic without fail. It's like Sunday School on the interwebs. So much WIN!

2) You're a "tolerant" Christian, and it's your mission to prove just how different you are than those other meanie-heads in the church.

And so, I'm completely out of place, because neither is a comfortable place for me. I hope my blog is instructional and encouraging, but never dogmatic or hurtful. However, I also believe that scripture is God-breathed, and we don't get to pick and choose which verses we get to claim, just because some of the verses make us feel bad or seem "hateful" (which is a super fun word to use on people you disagree with. It's like a magical trump card that makes logical or theological discussion no longer pertinent. Abracadabra!).

But, as I was going through these thoughts and emotions, I smiled. That's because I'm glad I don't fit in. That would be easy. My goal isn't to go around copying other writers who get a lot of traffic. I hope it isn't yours either.

Where do you fit in?

The Importance of Pain

If someone asks us: "Which do you wanna hear first -- the good news or the bad news?", we almost all, universally, will choose to hear the bad news first.

Why?

Is it because we're in a hurry to hear unfortunate reports? Is it because the negative is a more attractive option?

Of course not.

The reason we choose to hear the bad news first is simple: We want to get it over with. 

That way, we can take the sucker punch to the gut, be done with it, and have time to enjoy the positive. It's human nature, and most of us are that way.

And we're not just that way with news. We're like that with everything. We want to race through the rough patches as fast as possible. We're so focused on following the light at the end of the tunnel, but is it possible that we're missing the beauty of the tunnel itself?

The other night, Kim and I laid in bed and had one of those talks. If you're a married dude, you know exactly what kind of talks I mean.

I'm talking about the "We're seriously talking about this right now?" kind of talks.

Generally speaking, men just want to wind down when we get into bed. We want to finish off our game of "Words With Friends," check our email one last time, then doze off into our happy place.

Women, however, seem to choose that time as the opportunity to bring up all of their deepest, darkest fears, doubts and the worst case scenarios that have been running through their minds all day (and often times, even longer than that).

We're just wired differently. You're from Venus. I'm from Mars. I get it.

And so, it's in my DNA to want to be dismissive when those moments come. When we were first married, I think I handled those situations poorly. I'm trying to be better at that, because I realize that it means a lot to my wife that I listen to her when she brings those things to me, and that I really allow her to pour her heart out, while I engage her and try and help her battle through whatever is eating at her.

I listened. She talked. Then we engaged, and the primary focal point had to do with just how hard a year this has been for us.

In one year, we bought a house, moved to a different area, got pregnant with our first child, started going to a new church, lost our jobs, started a new business and struggled with that mightily, had a baby, struggled even more mightily with how to be parents, experienced tremendous financial loss, and we suffered much pain.

But we survived.

During our conversation, Kim brought up her frustration over how things have gone, specifically in regard to our house. It wasn't the fantasy every girl has. We were supposed to move in and paint all the rooms, get the furniture we wanted, decorate to our hearts content and really put our fingerprint all over the place.

I get it. Not in the same way. Guys don't really care about painting the walls. But we do want to landscape the yard, fix up the finished basement, things like that, etc.

Those things haven't happened, because those things cost money -- a luxury we've had very little of within the past 12 months.

My encouragement to Kim (and to myself too, if I'm being honest), was that it's important for us not to hurry past the pain. When we do that, we run the risk of missing the lesson God would have us learn.

It's been a very humbling year, but God has taught me invaluable lessons I wouldn't trade for the world. I've learned how to ask people for help when I need it. I've learned the extreme importance of vulnerability and honesty in our marriage. I've learned just how important my family is to me, and that material things, even my house, are just things that can be replaced.

So, that's my encouragement to you on this Monday. Ask for the good news first. Take your time in the tunnel. Learn the lesson that God has for you in the rough patch.

Pain is important.

Friday Funhouse: Jan. 11, 2012

What I wouldn't give to have more TIME!

More than money, and even more than material possession, TIME may be the most precious commodity in all of the world.

And there's never enough of it.

I work from home, so I'm constantly confronted by my need to find balance, and by how poor a job I do of that.

I have websites I need to work on.

I have a wife and son I desperately want to spend time with.

I have church responsibilities, namely those attached to being in the praise band.

I'm learning how to play drums. I wish I could practice more often.

Our Christmas decorations are still up. I should probably take those down.

I have phone calls, emails, Facebook messages and Tweets to respond to.

The towel rack in the bathroom is hanging halfway off the wall, because I originally installed it without a drywall anchor on one of the screws, thus, ripping a small hole in the wall. It's a quick fix, and I need to get on that. But I haven't for two weeks. I will, soon.

I need to get caught up on bills.

I should spend more time reading my Bible.

I haven't worked out in months. I need to do that. Badly.

If only I had more time.

What things have you been putting off?

Friday Funhouse: January 4, 2012