The Hardest Thing about Being Unemployed

Life can be stressful.

It can be even more stressful when you don't have money. I know. "Money doesn't solve everything." I concur. There are rich people everywhere with plenty of problems. I get the setiment, but my mom, in her wisdom, has always proclaimed: "Money may not solve all your problems -- but it sure does solve a lot of them."'

And she's right.

Think about how many problems in your life currently revolve around something money-related. Money isn't that important...until you don't have it. Then, it's pretty freaking important.

Honestly, I've been grateful for this time of need. God has shaped me. He's taught me reliance and faith. It's been a real learning experience.

Not having money and being worried about how we're going to pay our bills is stressful, but it's not the worst part of being unemployed.

I'm going to be honest and vulnerable for a minute. I'm admitting a truth, and I'm trying to do it in a way that doesn't hurt any feelings.

I precede with that disclaimer, and here's why: The most stressful thing about being unemployed isn't the lack of cash, the unemployment, or even the feelings I've had to deal with.

It's the questions.

"Do you have a job yet?"

"How's the job hunt going?"

"Anything new on the jobfront?"

They mean well. Everyone who asks. Bless their hearts. They really do. But, I run out of ways to answer the question. I'm all out of cliches to make you feel better about what I'm going through, which, unfortunately, seems to be what most people want from me right now.

No one wants to walk away from the unemployed guy feeling hopeless. They want to feel better than they did when the conversation started. They want to feel like they did something. They want to make a suggestion or find a solution.

But that doesn't usually happen. And that's okay. I wasn't looking for you to solve my problem. God's got this. I'm looking for jobs. Believe me. I am.

I have applied for hundreds of jobs since I was laid off. I've worked tirelessly to try and get my graphic design and furniture businesses off the ground and paying bills. None of it has come through yet.

I don't know where it's going to come from, but I'm pretty sure it won't be solved because of a funny anecdote you heard the other day or a suggestion for me to apply for a job that in no way interests me and, quite frankly, I'm not qualified for.

I've received countless wisdom nuggets over these past few months. So, now I'm going to turn the tables here a bit. It's my turn to give advice.

Here's how you deal with someone who is unemployed:

+ Do you have money or resources that you don't need? You can pray for friend if you want, but don't pray for God to provide something that you can do yourself. You either get that or you don't.

+ If we want to talk about the job hunt, we'll bring it up. Otherwise, can we just talk about football, family or even the weather? Because, honestly, we'd rather talk about anything besides the 10 emails we sent this week to prospective employers who didn't have the decency to even respond.

+ Before you send us a link to a job opening, read it over. Ask yourself: "Is this a job that they would like to do? Is it something they are qualified to do? Will it pay well enough?" Unemployed people get more recommendations for jobs than you can fathom. If you're going to send something, please make sure it makes sense.

+ Don't try to fix us. We're not a broken toy. We're people who are going through a difficult time. Tell us you love us. We don't get tired of that, and it honestly does make us feel better. Tell us you're pulling for us and that you're excited about the day when we will have awesome news to share.

+ More than anything, we need you to be a source of relief, not anxiety. When we're with friends and family, we just want to enjoy the moment. We want to laugh and to smile. We want to spend that time to recharge our batteries and take our minds off the struggle that is currently overtaking every aspect of our lives. The job hunt is an 800 pound gorilla that follows us everywhere. We'd love to ignore him for a few hours. Help us do that.

I'll end on this note.

I don't want to be ungrateful. I appreciate the prayers. I appreciate the well-wishes. I appreciate the gifts. These past few months have been absolutely harrowing, but it's been an amazing blessing to see people form a perimeter around me and my family, as they have prayed, done, and financially blessed us. Your support has been humbling. Thank you.