You're not gonna like this.
I anticipate this being one of my most widely read posts, and I also expect it to be largely loathed. Here's why.
I'm gonna drop a dump truck load of truth on you, and people don't generally love hearing the straight up truth. The response is usually a cringe or a "you really shouldn't say that."
I know there's something to be said about speaking the truth in love. It's something I've worked on. With that said, I simply can't divorce myself from my passion for speaking truth.
It has a lot to do with the "why" of how this blog came into being.
My whole life, I've had a very polarizing personality. People tend to either really love me or run in the other direction. I'm okay with that. It lets me know where people stand.
A lot of what I do here is tongue-in-cheek. I wrote a book about idiots. I write posts about "jerk drivers" and people who annoy me at grocery stores. It's all in fun.
But there's an element of truth to it, and those of you who have stuck around are the ones who get it. It resonates with you. You are part of the growing group of people who are ready to pull their hair out because they look at society around them and feel like they are taking crazy pills.
And all of that continues to evolve in my writing. Now that I'm a father, there's a new element at play. I'm not just talking about rude and inconsiderate people in their current state. I feel led to talk about how they became that way.
No one was born as a full-sized, adult jerk. It took time and development. Specifically, it took people refusing to speak truth into their lives and to tell them that they aren't the most important person in the world.
I was at the grocery store, recently. I was about to check out, and I saw a line with only one person in it. She didn't have a very full cart, so I went ahead and got in line.
Biggest mistake -- ever.
This older woman had divided up her groceries into what felt like 15 different groups, and I still have no idea why she did it. She wasn't paying for them separately, she just didn't want them to touch...or something.
And she waited until she was being checked out to place her groceries on the conveyor belt, so as the cashier scanned her groceries, the woman plopped her crap up on the belt, one item at a time.
It took at least 20 minutes. The worst part is that, for some reason, she had "pre-bagged" most of her items, so I had no idea where she was in the process, thus, making it impossible for me to know when I could start putting my groceries on the belt.
Finally, she neared the end. I could tell, because it was "penny counting" time. I went ahead and started throwing my stuff on the counter. I was as quick as I could be, because, by now, there was a line behind me.
The woman directly behind me witnessed both what had happened in front of me, as well as the fact that I was making a sincere effort to get my groceries on the belt, so that she could start to load her groceries as soon as possible.
She looked at me, smiled and said, "Thank you for caring about other people!"
I could tell that it was clearly a compliment to me, but also a jab at the woman in front of me who had held up traffic.
I just smiled back at her and responded, "I'm one of seven children. I learned a long time ago that I wasn't the center of the universe."
It doesn't make me an awesome human being, it just means I have an appropriate amount of concern for those around me.
I hold doors. I say "please" and "thank you." I signal before I turn. I don't cut people off. I move quickly when people behind me are waiting.
That started from infancy. I didn't read a book on how to not be a jerk. I was trained from childhood to be polite and consider other people, first.
I have a son now, and I plan on doing the same. I will discipline him in love. I will teach him to be respectful of others. I will not let him be a jerk.
Something I've learned, over the nine months I've been blogging, is that parenting is a "sacred cow." Almost every time I mention it, I get responses like, "Bro, don't go there" or "Don't talk about parenting. People will get mad."
I appeased that "boogeyman" for nine months, but I'm done. If something sucks, I'm going to say it. This is my blog. There are many like it, but this one is MINE. The internet is like a massive cafeteria with thousands of tables. I hope you'll keep eating lunch with me, but if you don't, oh well.
I say all that, because my point is this:
If you're a parent, you have a tremendous responsibility. Your responsibility to your child/children isn't just to make them feel good about themselves. It's also to tell them the truth. It's to discipline and to tell them when they are wrong.
When you go over to other peoples' houses, if your kids run all over the place, get into their stuff, and are just generally rude, how do you expect they are going to grow up?
If your kids talk back to adults and don't do what they say, how are you anticipating them to do when they get older and have jobs?
You owe it to your kids to discipline them. Love them. Give them more hugs than they know what to do with -- but discipline them, because you don't want your kids growing up to be jerks.
Hate me?
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