Tyler Tarver is the proprietor of TylerTarver.com, a website that makes people laugh, think and be late for things.
He's a teacher, a filmmaker, a husband and a father. He's an overall good dude, and for some reason, he likes me and my website enough to let me interview him about important things like blogging, Mountain Dew and baby pee.
If you don't enjoy this interview, you may be a robot. That's not an insult. Robots rule.
Kevin Haggerty: Before we get into my deeply personal questions and attempts at humor that will probably only amuse myself...I wanted to say thanks for carving out some time for me and my readers.
Tyler Tarver: No problem, I'm a fairly skilled carver so it was easy, I mean it's practically 83% of my last name.
KH: I read your blog, TylerTarver.com, on a regular basis. For those dummies that don't, tell us a little bit about your site and its purpose.
TT: Let me go Numb3rs Metaphor on your faces. It's like a basket full of bolts, and I am attempting to throw each one of them at a small cat, a kitten if you will, named Humor. I try and I try and I try, and very often miss, but sometimes, every now and then, I do miss, so I go kick that "kitten". See, it's like that.
KH: You're one of many bloggers who is also a teacher when he is not writing. I asked Leanne Shirtliffe (shameless plug for one of my favs) what it is about blogging that seems to draw in teachers and why there is a correlation between the two. I'd like to ask you the same thing. What is it about blogging that you think is attractive to teachers, specifically?
TT: Hag, can I call you that? Let's get real, Hag, after you teach a subject one year, you know it, so you don't have to prep. That means I have 45 minutes of free time at my desk every day. For a couple years I'd watch TV shows or look at funny pictures of people falling, but now I write crap.
KH: One of the things that sets you apart from most of the bloggers in your genre is that you make a lot of videos for your site. It's kind of your trademark. I know your readers really enjoy the vids. What made you decide to start with the videos, and what is your favorite video you've ever made?
TT: Yo, Haggle Daggle, you just went right there. No pretense, just...boop. Here's the truth. I originally just did videos. Awful. I mean worse than now awful. Like, bit by a radioactive spider awful. Anyways, I put them on this site called whatthejazz.com. Then I would write exactly once a month. Just one, big, long, post. Cause I didn't want to be one of those annoying people who was shooting posts out like XL shirts you'll never wear yet fight to the death for at a concert.
Anyways, I switched to Wordpress in 2010 and now I write 5-6 times a week and am one of those people. Wow, sorry this has so many letters of the alphabet in it. So I guess I started with the videos, then it transitioned to just writing, now I do both.
My favorite is probably Laser Babies, cause my kid was in it and he likes it and I feel like it most accurately expresses my style. Subtle attempts at humor, plus I know I can't make it excellent, so I make it purposefully non-excellent. That, or Rapper's Delightful Conversation, cause it felt more original.
KH: What's your favorite viral video of all time and why?
TT: I have to say I'm on a Boat. Does that count? I have to. I just loved it. If not, then 3.14 Apple Pi by Bo Burnham. So freaking clever.
KH: You're a math teacher, and you've decided to use that power for good by posting math help on your site. Do you get a lot of traffic/feedback from those videos?
TT: Yes, actually.
KH: What's the most valuable lesson you've learned as a blogger?
TT: That persistence is the most difficult/rewarding/beneficial element anyone can have. I hear having lots of money helps too though.
KH: If you could give one piece of advice to a new blogger, what would it be?
TT: Just keep making stuff and connecting to others through comments, both on their site and yours. Don't try to be a carbon copy of some other blogger, be you.
KH: What are your favorite blogs that you read on a regular basis?
TT: I obviously enjoy yours, the water is fine. There are also a crapload of people I have in Googluh Readuh. Here are the ones I have read the longest? Can I do that? Judge's ruling...APPROVED! I've been reading knoxmccoy.com and tylerstanton.com the longest. But I have right around 40 in my reader I roll through at least once a week.
KH: Word association time. It works like this: I give you a word, phrase or name and you give your short, kneejerk reaction. For instance, if you said: "Killer Tribes," I'd respond with: "Super bummed I can't go." OKAY!
Let's get rolling.
TT: That's Nice like Dice
Mountain Dew: Goop.
Trigonometry: Slash Pre-Cal
Karate Kid remake: Adopt me, Will Smith
Rush Limbaugh: WRUSH RIMBAHH (This bulldog at a boat shop in Arkansas could say his name and it sounded just like that, swear to be funny)
Val Kilmer: Riddler
The Avengers: 2: Return of the Hype
Dairy Queen: BURN IT!
High School students: Odor.
Spam E-mails: Canned meat.
KH: Tell us a bit about your book, "Words & Sentences." What can readers expect from it and how can they go about procuring a copy?
TT: It's essentially a compilation of everything I wrote for 1.5 years. They can buy a copy at tylertarver.com/store, or just get a free digital copy by signing up for my mailing list.
KH: What was the last book you read? What is a book you'd highly recommend?
TT: The Hunger Games Series, and I recommend it so high that Snoop Dogg would hang out with it.
KH: What is your favorite TV show of all time and why?
TT: LOST. Because it enthralled me continually and fully and I just couldn't quit talking about it. Plus I love that there wasn't a downslide, it ended on their terms. Great Great and Cool Cool.
KH: You're from Arkansas, which is a state that takes a lot of well natured (and sometimes, not-so-well-natured ribbing) from residents of other states, particularly those situated farther north. What are misconceptions about the state you call "home" that irritate and/or amuse you?
TT: Once again, you got to the center of that Tootsie Pop like a wise owl. Yes, us and Alabama get jabbed quite a bit. Well, for one we've got just about the same crap as everyone else, just with a lot more meth and a lot less ecstasy. I'd say they're right about most everyone being friendly and helpful. Yeah, we've got some dang rednecks but we make fun of them too.
If anything irritates me, it might be when people think someone's stupid because they have a southern accent. Personally, I think it's laid back and fun and makes me think of EdTV. I guess some people just try to correlate southern with stupid because their parents didn't hug them enough.
Also, it's not a "redneck" accent, it's "southern", and I don't date my relatives.
KH: At the end of every episode of "The Celebrity Apprentice," Donald Trump gets to fire one celebrity and remove them from his show. If you could fire any celebrity, making it so that they could never appear on your TV or in your life in general, ever again, who would it be?
TT: Hayden Christensen Kutcher Sheen. That's one right?
KH: Yes. Yes it is.
In August, I'm becoming a daddy. I'm excited, but also scared to death. As a father yourself, what advice would you give me?
TT: Baby pee is harmless, be kinda rough with your kid so they're not a pansy, and do whatever your wife says.
KH: Is it a goal of yours to one day leave the teaching profession and become a blogger full time, if that opportunity presents itself?
TT: Ha. Um, I would love to, but I don't ever see that happening. If it does, I'd probably still get another job so I could still have stories to tell, or I guess I could just lie.
KH: I wrote a guest post a while back for Knox called "How Modern Science Has Failed Us." It basically details my disdain for modern science and how they've failed to remedy or create common things like: "A strictly Chick-Fil-A diet that will make you skinny and have ripped abs," "Hair loss (reversing it)" and "Superpowers (it's terrifically silly that we don't have these yet)." What would you add to this list?
TT: I read that and I loved it. I'd add Faxing Animate Objects. Right now I still feel we're still just one step above having a guy delivering it on a pony.
KH: Random question (in the midst of many other random questions): Have you ever been cow tipping?
TT: Haha. Not personally, my wife has. I've shot them with a paintball gun though.
KH: Who is your favorite stand-up comedian of all time? (The standing portion is irrelevant, really. If you'd like to nominate a very funny person who has been relegated to a wheelchair or bed, you may do so.)
TT: Daniel Tosh, with Demetri Martin gawking creepily behind him.
KH: What would you say to someone who thinks that Will Ferrell isn't funny?
TT: Nothing funny, because apparently, they don't understand humor at all and are a cold bottomless crapper who probably enjoys watching reality shows about catching animals or buying used stuff.
KH: What beverage is underrated? What kind of fruit is overrated? (Don't pull any punches. We can take it.)
TT: Sweet Tea, DID YOU KNOW THEY DON'T HAVE IT IN SOME PLACES UP NORTH? Sorry for yelling, I thought someone was carrying a knife, but it turns out it was just a cherry, which seem really overrated except when they're in ChapStick.
KH: I suppose that about covers it. I'm sure I've presented you with the most thorough and sincere interview questions of all time. With that said, did I miss anything? Is there anything else you'd like to plug or promote?
TT: I guess not, you pretty much nailed it like a construction worker. Can I wave at my mom?
KH: Please do.
Thanks again for doing this. I'm 100% sure that my readers will either love or hate this interview.
TT: I'm 110% sure the percent 220 is of 200.
Thanks K-Money, I think I'm in love with you, we should rent a Seadoo together sometime.
Thanks again to Tyler for hanging out at "The Isle" and kicking it like a kangaroo whose foot went to sleep.
You need to check out Tyler website HERE. Follow him on Twitter HERE. "Like" his Facebook page HERE.
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