Amanda is many things. She is funny. She is Canadian. Like me, she is in the business of shaping minds in the classroom. She's not a big person by stature, but her brains and wit more than make up for that. She runs a fantastic site at MandieMarie.com. If you haven't checked it out, do it today (after you read the interview, of course).
At any rate, here is my interview with Amanda. I hope you like it. If you don't, keep it to yourself. Amanda and I are sensitive.
Kevin Haggerty: Amanda, first off, thanks for taking the time out of your ever-Canadian schedule to answer a few questions. It's about to get real.
Amanda: I’m slightly terrified.
KH: I should make it known off the bat that you are my second favorite Canadian female blogger. Please don't take it personal. I've sworn an allegiance to Leanne Shirtliffe. I'm sure you understand.
A: I completely understand. Leanne is a superstar. Although, I should point out that she’s from Alberta. Do you know who else is from Alberta? Nickelback. Does that sway your allegiance at all?
KH: A little. With that said, I like your style. You're funny. You're a good writer. You're a fan of Mitch Hedberg. You're dating a pretty okay dude. What am I missing about the awesomeness that encompasses Mandie Marie? Anything?
A: I’m a wee little person. It’s something that gets pointed out on a daily basis. I get ignored in stores because salespeople don’t think I’m old enough to have a credit card. I regularly get mistaken for an elementary school student. Once when I was 16, a waitress gave me a kids menu and some Crayons. That’s the only time I’ve ever seen my sweet, good-natured mother chew someone out in public. It was glorious.
Since I know someone is going to ask in the comment section, I’ll just say it. I’m approximately 5’1 ¾”. That’s the average size of an 11 year old.
KH: Speaking of Mitch Hedberg (RIP), one night, you and I were a part of a Twitter session that lasted about 30 minutes. This session involved regurgitating the funniest Hedberg jokes we could recall at the time (which, I think was about 1:00 a.m.). What's your favorite Mitch Hedberg joke of all time?
A: Ah, that was a good Twitter session.
My favourite Mitch Hedberg moment isn’t even a joke. I found it on YouTube once and haven’t been able to since. Hedberg is on a late show, stoned out of his mind. The camera shot only shows him from the shoulders up. The camera cuts to a full body shot for approximately 2 seconds, then goes back to just his head and shoulders. He notices this on the monitor, stops mid-joke and says, “Whoa. I just saw my shoes. Go back to that! Go back!” Then the camera cuts back to the full body shot momentarily, and Hedberg giggles. Then he says, “I don’t even remember the rest of my joke, but it probably wasn’t that good.” The man was thrown off by his own shoes, and it was brilliantly funny.
KH: Give us the down-low on MandieMarie.com. What is the purpose of your site?
A: The site started as a place for me to put my writing and rambling. I knew a few people read it but it was never a “thing”. I never promoted any posts or told people it even existed. It was just there and I didn’t know why. Once I started telling people about it, it changed the purpose. It’s still a place to put my writing, but it has cultivated an odd little community of people, too. I say odd because it’s been very unexpected. I can now say that I have a group of very dear friends that I’ve never even met, all due to my strange little blog. I love how my writing has connected me with other people that I would never have connected with otherwise.
KH: Why did you decide to be a writer in the first place? What motivates you to continue to write?
A: A teacher of mine encouraged my writing, and by the end of high school, I had won a humor contest and had one of my short stories published in a teen fiction magazine. That was a pretty great feeling. It started there, but I continue to write because most of the time it’s the only way my brain makes sense to me. I think in writing. There’s a lot of odd stuff in this head, and writing is a good outlet. I’ve also discovered that I’m much funnier in writing, so it’s easy to trick people into thinking I’m hilarious.
KH: What's your favorite post that you've ever written and why?
A: My favourite posts are the ones that are the hardest to write. The funny stuff comes easy. It’s just the odd junk that is in my head at all times. The stuff that is honest and raw is the most difficult to write, but they’re always my best pieces of writing.
But my favourite? The one about Tenderness. It was healing to write and helped me realize that I’m not alone, defective or insane. (Read it HERE)
KH: What blogs do you read on a regular basis?
A: I usually save up a bunch of posts and binge read, which is why you’ll get comments from me on week-old posts. Here are a few: Knoxy, Katie Hardeman, JButt, Jamie’s Rabbits, Tyler Tarver, Tyler Stanton, Stanton Martin, your bearded brother, Ricky Anderson, Rob Shep, and now Chad Gibbs because someone told me he writes about stuff other than sports. And yours, of course.
Oh wait. I forgot the obligatory “I read my boyfriend’s blog because I think he’s cute!” statement. So there it is.
KH: Do you think America should go ahead and adopt Canada as the 51st state? I mean, it's about time, right?
A: Well it’s maybe an option we could all consider, but you’re going to have to agree to add states 51 and 52 because Quebec will insist on being its own state. Quebec is to Canada as Texas is to America. We’d also have to do something about the Queen. Do you guys want a Queen? She’s pretty old.
KH: We could re-locate her to Hollywood. There are plenty of queens there. She’d be right at home.
What's your favorite thing to eat?
A: My honest to goodness favourite food of all time? Potatoes. In any form. Mashed, baked, soup, fries, chips...anything. I love a good potato product. They’re so versatile.
KH: Our mutual Canadian friend, Leanne, has never experienced the wonder that is Chick Fil A. You are a Canadian as well. Are you, like Leanne, also deprived of ever having tasted this wonderful goodness?
A: Over my March Break, I traveled down to Jackson, MS to visit a certain bearded blogger. The first place we went to when I arrived was Chick Fil A.
Now let me say this: EVERYONE I talked to before I tried it built up CFA to be this grand and glorious thing of perfection. Joseph was the only person to honestly say, “Well, it’s pretty good. White people love it. But it’s still fast food.” I have a gluten allergy, so I couldn’t do the whole fried chicken thing and had to eat a salad. It was decent in terms of fast food salads, but I’m a salad snob and rather biased. The waffle fries? Delicious. I love me some potatoes.
KH: I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but your website gives off sort of a guarded impression; meaning that it doesn't really give off much personal information about who Amanda is. I know that is it is true of myself, and so I wonder: Do you feel like you use humor as a defense mechanism?
A: Defense mechanism? Probably not. Coping strategy? Absolutely.
Anyone who knows me in person knows that I’m open and honest to a fault. It doesn’t take much for me to open up to someone if I feel safe and comfortable. Because I know I’m a borderline oversharer, I am intentional about how much personal stuff I put on the internet. I would have no problem telling you anything if we were having a chat over coffee, but some things are just better said in person than on the internet. Am I hiding something with my humor? Nope. I just won’t spill my guts to you unless I can see your face. I would rather use humor to disarm and make people comfortable, than to use it to build walls of defense.
I do definitely use humor as a coping strategy though. It’s a family thing. If there is a situation in which we could laugh or cry, we always choose to laugh. We laugh a lot. Sometimes at inappropriate times (in the Emergency Room, at funerals, etc).
KH: With that in mind. Let's get personal. Outside of blogging for MandieMarie.com, do you have a "9 to 5" job? If so, what is it?
A: Oh you’ve opened up a can of worms, Kevin Haggerty.
I WISH I had a 9 to 5 job. I’m a teacher. In Canada, this is a great job. So great, in fact, that there is a huge shortage of jobs, and the field is rather competitive (cutthroat, even?). It takes a good 5 -7 years to land something permanent. I am currently a supply (substitute for you Americans) teacher. Some weeks I work every day. Some weeks I only work a half day. It’s sporadic and unpredictable and nothing is guaranteed (including the paycheck). I love it and I hate it at the same time.
KH: What's your favorite TV show of all time and why?
A: Gilmore Girls and I don’t care what you say about that.
KH: How many siblings do you have?
A: I have two very large and protective older brothers that couldn’t be more opposite to one another. They are both married to nurses. They’ve got a bunch of exceptionally cute kids too.
KH: What do your parents do for a living?
A: My Dad has owned his own business for the past 24 years. His company sells fireplaces, furnaces, BBQs and air conditioners. Both my brothers work in the biz, too.
Mom hasn’t had to work outside of the home since before us kids came along, and we are all exceptionally thankful for it. She says that she has had the best job ever and wouldn’t trade it for the world, and I think she’s right about that.
KH: Five years from now, what would you like to be doing with your life?
A: Hahahahahahaha. Oh Kevin.
I have no idea. Did you read the part about my job? I’m also dating a fellow who resides in Mississippi. I don’t know what my life will look like in five years. Who wants to pay me to blog?
KH: What's your favorite color?
A: Green.
KH: Okay. On to the next one. It's word association time. I give you a word, phrase, name or title and you give me your instinctive rebuttal. For example, if you said: "Scrubs," I'd respond by saying, "Don't get it. Tried to watch. Just don't get it."
Here goes nothin'!
Taylor Swift: IT’S A LOVE STOREEE BABY JUST SAAAY YES. (I’m sorry)
Jim Gaffigan: Bacon
Canadian Bacon: Not a thing in Canada
The Muppets: The best.
DVR: I watch TV on the internet
Chicken Fried Steak: Probably not gluten free
Church: Chicken. What? I don’t know. You just said chicken.
Peanut Butter Cookies: One of my specialties
Hillary Clinton: She can see Russia from...never mind. I’m Canadian.
Soap Operas: Joey Tribbiani
KH: Done. Good work. Next question.
If you could give a new blogger one piece of advice, what would it be?
A: Don’t make it all about you. Yes, it’s your blog and your writing and your ideas. But it can be so much more than that. If you want to write about personal stuff, that’s fine. Just make it universal enough so people will read it and say, “Hey, me too!” I think as humans, we all just want to be able to say, “Hey, me too!”
KH: Like me, you were stranded at home and unable to attend the Killer Tribes Conference. Did it motivate you to make sure you're going to be able to go next year? How did you handle being away from the action?
A: I don’t know if it motivated me to want to go to the conference next year, but it definitely motivated me to meet the awesome people that were involved. I heard some really fantastic stories and it felt like the time in grade 2 I was sick at home and couldn’t go to my friend’s birthday party. I didn’t handle being away from the action very well, thankfully there were a few people kind enough to Skype me in so I could make fun of Knox McCoy to his face.
KH: Do you have plans to ever write a book? If so, what would it be about?
A: Actually, I have written a couple of books already and have a few more on the go. They are quirky little children’s books for quirky little children. My next step is finding someone who wants to publish a book about Princess Pizzapants and The Duke of Rowboats.
I’m also starting to write “Memoirs of a Substitute Teacher: What it’s like to do someone else’s job”. We’ll see where that goes.
KH: I note that your past includes playing a little bit of basketball. Do you have a favorite team and/or favorite player?
A: I once had the same pair of running shoes as Allen Iverson. So I guess him?
KH: What song best describes your life, right now?
A: Rapper’s Delight by Sugarhill Gang. Most definitely.
KH: What is a band you've never seen that you'd do just about anything to see, live in concert?
A: Sufjan Stevens.
KH: What's the latest you've ever slept in?
A: 3:00?
KH: Make up a funny, one-paragraph story about conjoined twins who work as pizza delivery drivers. Please.
A: Can I just write a bunch of dialogue instead? I feel like that’s funnier.
“Steve, I already told you that we’re turning LEFT!”
“Gregoire, JUST because you have the fancier name does not mean you get to call the shots! My inner GPS is telling me to go straight.”
“Your inner GPS? Really? You can’t find your way out of a department store. You have no inner GPS, Steve.”
“I get confused by all of the smells! You know my nose is more sensitive than yours.”
“I think you should have been given the fancier name.”
“Well maybe I was! You know how Mom gets confused easily. Someone probably flipped us over and she was like, “What the crap? Who is who? Well, Steve’s always on the left!” and then boom. Our names were switched.”
“And you take after our mother.”
“HEY. Our mother is DELIGHTFUL.”
“And she also decided to keep us conjoined. By the wrist. THE WRIST. We don’t even look conjoined, we just look romantically involved.”
“And would it be so bad to be romantically involved with me, Steve?”
“You’re asking that question? You’re seriously asking me if it would be a bad thing to be romantically involved with my conjoined twin brother?”
“Well you don’t have to get all emotional.”
“I have never hated you more than I do at this moment.
“We’re here.”
“It’s my turn to carry the pizza.”
“That means I’m handling the payment. Steve! You know how I freeze up when I have to do mental math! I want to carry the pizza!”
“No. You have to learn to deal with life’s problems sometime. I won’t always be there to help you.”
“What are you talking about? We’re CONJOINED.”
“Yeah, and I have an axe in the trunk.”
KH: Did we miss anything? Is there anything you'd like to plug or promote?
A: My mom has Twitter? @mamabee77
KH: Thanks again for your time and letting us get to know you a little better!
A: No probs, brother.
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