Is it possible for men and women to be merely platonic acquaintances? Really?
It's a discussion I've had on multiple occasions. People laugh. They cry (okay, not really). Sometimes, they get really upset.
It's a hot-button topic, and it seems that everyone has a fairly strong opinion on the matter.
Whilst cruising Sharideth Smith's blog, "A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO WOMEN: A BLOG FOR MEN," I came across a post that included an interesting video.
I'm openly admitting to stealing from her. But hey, it's for a good cause: I'm sharing it with you.
Your mission is simple: 1) Watch the video (it's not long) and 2) Leave a comment voicing your opinion on the matter.
Keep it clean. No cursing or name-calling (especially "cotton headed ninny muggins"...that's just not cool, man).
Video after the jump:
So, what do you think?
Yea, if she looks like this
ReplyDeletehttp://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&source=mog&hl=en&gl=us&client=ms-android-verizon&q=ugliest%20woman%20in%20the%20world&sa=N&biw=360&bih=559#i=2
-mhagg
jk that link didnt work... basically if the female looks like a baboon it might work.
ReplyDeleteOh..it worked alright. ha. Point taken.
ReplyDeleteWhatever the guys name is that did this video (the interviewer)...THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!! For me, the point has been proven!
ReplyDeleteNO, NO, NO. Guys and girls CANNOT be just friends.
I love this video!!! YES!!!
Totes.. I have tons of girl just-friends. (Not really... just thought I'd check to see if Brooke is paying attention)
ReplyDeleteHere's my thought. It's TOTALLY possible. (And yes, I realize that I'm taking the stance of every other girl in that video.)All of those guys can say, "No, it's not possible" - but until they are making any sort of effort to make their friendships something more - well, isn't that exactly what they have? Just a friendship?Plus, I seriously doubt that EVERY guy friend I've ever had (and I've had a lot) has had some sort of feelings for me. Or maybe I'm just the ugliest woman in the world. ;)
ReplyDeleteWell...was she?
ReplyDeleteHaley - First off, thanks for posting. I don't remember seeing you post on here before. If you have, my bad for not noticing. If you haven't, welcome aboard and I hope to see more of you.
ReplyDeleteYou made an interesting comment: "but until they are making any sort of effort to make their friendships something more - well, isn't that exactly what they have? Just a friendship?"You're point is (correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to be) that guys and girls cannot be MORE than "just friends" until one person makes a move. That I don't think is up for debate.
I guess I'd ask to consider this: "Is your relationship with a guy what you THINK it is, if you don't have feelings for him, but he'd like it to be something more?" and "What kind of friendship is it really if one person has romantic aspirations and the other does not?"This video is not the "be all, end all" of this conversation. It's just one video and one limited demographic. I do, however, think it points out that a lot of females do not understand how men actually think, or they choose to be oblivious.
Good feedback Haley. Keep it coming. And hey, tell a friend while you're at it! :)
Is it possible? In theory, I guess. And if it happens, then I think every one of those friendships has to pass through the "well let me just try..." test. This assumes, at least, that both parties are at least decent looking. Men who have historically had no trouble "meeting women," as it were, (understanding this to be a family friendly blog) are a bit more apt to have some chick friends if those chicks aren't very attractive. Men are superficial. People are superficial. So, I guess my theory is that they either have to pass through the "Man I hope she lets me..." test or there has to be a significant aesthetic disparity between the two.
ReplyDeleteBobs - Clutch input. Appreciate you keeping it "PG" ... but yeah, I feel you.
ReplyDeleteGood morning, Kevin!Yes, I believe that men and woman CAN be "just friends". Of course there would be instances when a friendship could turn into something more, but it doesn't HAVE to. I have many guy friends that I am just friends with. For just one example, take a boss I had for 20 years. He's one of my best friends. He's also married to one of my best friends, so of course we're JUST FRIENDS. My pastors are both some of my best friends, and also married, and will never be more than just friends. Maybe it's just my moral values that are so strong. I just love people and whether they are male or female doesn't matter to me. Now, there has been a couple of times in my life, when I was just friends with a guy, and when it appeared that they wanted more, I had to end the friendship (since they were married), but that is not the norm. I find men to be intellectually stimulating, and I like the balance of both men and women in my life and am not going to have a relationship beyond friendship with any of them, so yes I believe it IS POSSIBLE for men and women to just be friends.
ReplyDeleteTeri - Great feedback as always. I think the older men and women get, the easier this becomes. It really is a maturity issue, which I think is kind of what you were getting at.
ReplyDeleteYou hadn't been around in a couple days. We missed ya!
So..... "just friends" means there is no sexual attraction? That's a bad definition of "just friends."
ReplyDeleteGuys are capable of checking out every woman they see for sexual potential. I know. I'm a guy. Doesn't mean we even KNOW the woman, or that we really even want to. Just that we like to look at faces, bodies, etc., and that's just a fact.
"Just friends", to most of those girls in the video, means "not having sex". Just because their guy friends WANT to have sex, or WOULD if they had the chance, doesn't mean that they ARE having sex, and if they're not having sex, to those girls they are "just friends". THAT is what "just friends" means.
Those girls heard THIS question - "Can you hang out with a guy on a regular basis and not have sex?" In other words, "is it possible for a guy and a girl to spend time together and not have a sexual encounter?" THAT is what the girls thought they were answering. They didn't hear what they guy thought they were hearing, because the cultural definition of "just friends" typically only comes into play after a guy and a girl have broken up or just before they start dating. They're not having sex, so they are "just friends".
Bad interviews. At least, as potrayed here.
Bernard - Thanks for your post brother. Quality first interaction. The point you bring up is interesting, because I believe it speaks to the bigger picture. You say the girls heard something different. I think that's ironic, because if it's true, it says a lot about the difficulty between inter-gender relationships. Constantly, we say one thing, they hear something else.
ReplyDeleteI don't pretend to have this all figured out. It's an intriguing topic to me and I value your feedback.
I also see your Packers fan. Must be tough. ;)
I believe they can, but the eye is on the prize with most of them. There are exceptions of course...
ReplyDelete"The Prize." Indeed. That makes it sound so much more honorable than it actually is. ha. Us dudes are scumbags.
ReplyDeleteInteresting video. The fact that it was shot on a college campus, asking single college students certainly skews the results. (I typed "skews" very carefully)
ReplyDeleteMy point as an Old Married Guy would be that, of course, married people have friends pd the opposite sex, BUT, those friendships have to exist in a careful context to minimize temptation. Not just the obvious temptation, but I've also seen close friendships with women draw men away from their wives emotionally. Dangerous territory.
"be careful, then, how you live..."
Good points. I guess, for me, it just isn't worth it, you know? What casual friendship with a woman could be worth my wife even questioning for a second? I have enough friends.
ReplyDeleteIf the video is anything to go by, women can be just friends with men, but men can't be just friends with women. That's odd. I'm a little scared of men now, haha.
ReplyDeleteIt's not just your wife, but everyone. If you hang out with a woman and your wife is perfectly fine with it, but let's say your wife's friends see you. They might start talking.
ReplyDeleteAs Bernard said, their definition of "friend" is slightly odd. I'm friends with women. But I'd never go and see a movie with them or go and have dinner. Even though if I did that with a guy it'd totally be fine. I wouldn't hang out at their house for a long period of time if neither of our spouses was there.