500 Diapers to Show God's Provision

Photo by Creative Commons user dhinivh

Last week was a really tough week.

Specifically, because I posted a very humbling post about how Kim and I have recently had to go on Food Stamps. 

I didn't post it because I wanted people to give us anything or feel sorry for us. I just needed to air things out a little bit. People were gracious in accepting in their response to the post. It was nice to feel like we weren't alone, but I admit, I still did a fair amount of wallowing in my own bad feelings about the whole ordeal.

It's easy to wonder where God is in all of this. It's easy to be jealous of other people and angry, in general.

I was feeling all of those emotions, and then on Sunday, I felt silly about all of it.

At church, our small group decided to bless us by buying us a ton of diapers. I'm not even sure the exact amount, but seriously, it was hundreds of them.

We were sort of overwhelmed about it. It just was humbling to see that people really did care about us, and that God was providing for our needs.

There's still a tough row to hoe. I'm not sure how we're going to make it through the next month. We might lose our house. That's a real possibility.

But, today, I'm grateful, and I'm reflecting on what I do have.

The Post Where I Admit I'm on Food Stamps

Photo by Creative Commons user pengrin

I'm on food stamps.

There. I said it. Out loud. Publicly, for the first time, ever. I enjoyed it about as much as I thought I would, and that's not at all.

It's humbling. Maybe even embarrassing. It hurts. Especially as a man. We feel like we're supposed to provide for our families, and to be the "bread winners."

These last few months have been a huge kick in the teeth for me. Maybe it was needed. Who knows?

What I do know is that our money is running out.

That's probably the wrong way to put it, because it's God's money, right? God owns it all, and His resources never run out.

I'll put it this way: The number in our bank account is getting closer to zero.

After we pay our mortgage, we'll be down to just about nothing.

So, we went to Social Services and applied (and we're thankfully approved) for Food Stamps. But, it's not called that anymore. It's called "SNAP." I like that better, but deep down, I know it's still Food Stamps.

Why am I telling you this?

It's for a few reasons. First off, I needed to say it. It's kind of therapeutic for me. I'd been hiding it behind the closed doors of our house, and saying it to other people makes me feel a little less abnormal.

I'm also saying it because maybe if I can say it out loud, it will help other people and give them the strength to know they aren't going through their valley alone.

Lastly, I'm saying it because I believe prayer is important. I hope that you will pray for us and with us as we undergo this tremendous challenge.

God knows how much money we need to pay our bills, and He will provide it. I'm excited to share with you guys as we see God provide.

Thanks, in advance, for your prayers!